Best Western Grand Hotel, Hartlepool, UK – review written 22 September 2015

Any hotel with an Indian restaurant has to be worthy of consideration. What can be better than an Indian meal without the hassle of having to drive home afterwards?

Hartlepool’s Best Western Grand Hotel is home to Mumbai, an Indian restaurant chain – according to the hotel’s receptionist – but whether a chain or an independent it has to be the way ahead for the British hotel industry when you consider that Indian food is the new steak and kidney pie.

Normally when I stay in a hotel with a grand name – be it The Grand Hotel or the Majestic or something similarly lofty – I’m often disappointed, as the hotel tends not to deliver on some aspect implied by its name. I expect there to be rough edges. But while I strained my eyes to find something out of place or not in keeping with the word ‘grand’ I was hard-pushed to find anything worth mentioning.

The check-in was simple, the receptionist friendly. The room was way above expectation: large and roomy, everything worked, including the WiFi and the shower and the television (on which I watched Top Gear while waiting for my dinner companion). Could anything be better than this? Top Gear, a curry and a decent night’s kip? I was in hotel heaven.

The Grand Hotel Hartlepool is brilliant and I advise anybody embarking upon a trip to Teesside to consider it as a base for his or her stay in the North East. It lives up to its name; it has plenty of polished wood and creaky floors and a large stained glass window on the first floor landing – all classic ingredients of a ‘grand hotel’.

In addition to Mumbai, there’s a large sports bar – not my scene, but that’s beside the point. When I checked out the receptionist told me that there was an Italian restaurant prior to Mumbai’s arrival so I’m guessing that the food and beverage operation here has always been good.

Breakfast was good too, although I started to wonder, as I made my way downstairs, whether the most important meal of the day would be served in the Indian restaurant. I hoped not as I couldn’t face the smell of Indian food first thing in the morning. Fortunately, the hotel had thought this through; there was a dedicated (and very pleasant) breakfast room adjacent to the front desk on the ground floor.

As with most hotels there was a choice of a cooked breakfast or the continental offering of cheese, fresh fruit, bread and cereal. I opted for both but had as my cooked option scrambled egg on toast. Prior to this I had Coco Pops, tea, fresh fruit and a fudge-flavoured yoghurt. The breakfast service was friendly and unobtrusive, just the way I like it.

Checking out was also trouble-free. I left my suitcase behind the front desk and briefly explored the Middleton Grange shopping centre across the road – it’s the same as any other shopping centre (or mall) in the UK.

I enjoyed Hartlepool and could have done with an extra night at the Grand Hotel, as there’s plenty to explore in the locality. I suppose the only problem with spending more than one night is the thought of two Indian meals in a row, but there’s always the sports bar and I’m sure there are plenty of restaurants nearby too.

Best Western Nordic Hotel Ambiente, Langenhagen, Germany – review written 26 February 2015

At last I find a hotel with a restaurant. Normally, I’m told that there isn’t one and it’s always a bit of a disappointment. I tend to check into hotels in the early evening after a busy day, and I look forward to chilling in the hotel restaurant with a decent meal and a glass of wine. Instead, I regularly find myself wandering the streets of a strange town looking for a restaurant. Not today, as Buzz Lightyear might have said.

The Nordic Hotel Ambiente in Langenhagen – where CDs were first mass-produced and where Elrike Meinhoff was arrested in 1972 – near Hannover in Germany has a restaurant, but despite this, I still wandered out to see what was on offer. In fact, there’s a decent Italian restaurant somewhere but I can’t find it; I first stumble across a pub and then a Chinese restaurant so I headed back to the hotel for dinner.

Armed with a copy of the Economist I ordered a salmon starter and a cod main course, not forgetting a wheat beer, and settled in for a relaxing evening reading about President Putin.

This is a good hotel. Let’s start with the check-in, which was fast, efficient and friendly. Within minutes I had my room card and soon I found myself in Room 210 on the second floor. They say little things please little minds and I was taken aback by, of all things, the wood-effect linoleum flooring because it looked like real wood. In the corridors they had the same pattern repeated but this time it was carpet (quite a design feat, I thought, resorting to touching it to confirm it was carpet and not linoleum).

I’m pleased to report that the Nordic Hotel Ambiente trusts its guests: there was a full minibar!  As for the bathroom, it was good to have a walk-in shower and not the usual shower-in-the bath set-up.

The WiFi worked fine, there was a decent flatscreen TV – but no British channels – so I switched off the light and fell asleep.

The next morning, last night’s hotel restaurant had a new identity. The bright sun was a contributory factor, but everything looked more colourful than last night, there were nightlights on bare tables and it took a lot of effort to re-imagine the white-tableclothed restaurant from last night.

I chose fresh fruit, yoghurt and muesli with a pot of tea and a couple of small croissants and then, after a walk around town (which is dominated by a pleasant shopping mall) I returned to the room to pack. Checkout was straightforward and soon I was on a tram heading for Hannover Hbf and a train to Brussels.

I liked the Nordic Hotel Ambiente for many reasons: the people on the front desk were friendly and helpful; the room was comfortable and the food and beverage options were good. I’d definitely return.

Best Western, Leidse Square, Amsterdam – review written 8 June 2015

One thing that continues to bug me about some hotels is the way they distrust their guests; this can be seen in many different ways, but two obvious examples are coat hangers that don’t have a ‘hook’ but a device that basically makes the hanger useless to any potential thief (ie, there’s no way it can be used to ‘hang’ clothes from). The second is the empty or locked mini bar. With the latter, especially if it’s locked, I always get a distinct feeling that somebody thinks I’m not to be trusted. In other words, I’m the sort of person that would ransack the minibar and then deny I consumed any of the contents when I check out the following morning or at the end of my stay. As for coat hangers, who would be so desperate?

But outside of these two obvious markers that pinpoint the hotel in question’s distrust of its clientele, there is something else that I find just as irksome. In many ways it’s the worst of the lot and it normally happens after I’ve made a few international telephone calls. The audacity in question is normally disguised by an envelope slid quietly under my hotel room door while I’m out or asleep, but normally a day or two BEFORE I check out – an unnecessary reminder that I owe them money and they haven’t forgotten.

However, what I found absolutely infuriating and downright insulting was the phone call I received from the front desk (who must have clocked me coming into the building). As soon as I arrived in my room the phone started to ring. It’s normally quite worrying when the hotel room phone rings, especially if nobody knows where I am bar my wife. While in one sense I was relieved to hear the voice of the woman on the front desk, I soon found myself feeling very angry with what she said, which was something along the lines of “we noticed you’d made two international calls at a total cost of EUR90 and that you’re checking out tomorrow so we thought we’d let you know that we know so don’t try to walk out without paying.” I felt like saying I’ll pay it tomorrow morning when I check out, which, as far as I know, is the procedure adopted by most hotels, but it was clear that the purpose of the phone call was to get the money upfront so that the hotel was not out of pocket. I also felt like saying, “Do you think I look like the sort of person that would walk off without paying a bill?” I didn’t bother.

However, one thing it does give the hotel is a big black mark from me and a recommendation from me not to bother if you’re considering staying at the hotel (I’m sure there are better places in Amsterdam).

The room was fine, although the bathroom was a little cramped, but everything else was okay: tall windows, a fairly comfortable bed, a desk and free WiFi. Everything worked so no complaints there, but there was no restaurant, which is always a nuisance, and the breakfast was appalling and by that I mean non-descript. I had cereal, yoghurt and fresh fruit. The cereal was fine, the yoghurt as standard, but the fresh fruit was tired and unappealing to look at; I’m guessing it was from a tin.

There was also a roughness about the hotel that I didn’t like and a precarious staircase that was too steep in my opinion and not for those unsteady on their feet (not that I count myself in that number).

Like a lot of hotels it served a purpose (a bed for the night) but that attitude surrounding my phone bill jarred a bit.

In its favour – but then could I expect anything else from a hotel in Amsterdam? – it did hire out bikes for EUR15 cash, but even there they adopted the attitude of distrust. The money couldn’t be put on the room and they wanted it as soon as I got back from my ride (I had no cash when I booked the bike). Once again it felt as if they thought I was not to be trusted. I should have told them to stuff their bike where the sun didn’t shine and gone elsewhere, but again, I’m too polite.

In summary, this hotel does the job, the rooms are fine but the attitude stinks. I won’t rebook in a hurry. In fact I doubt I’ll ever go back there.

Sofitel Copacabana Beach, Rio de Janeiro, Brazil – review written 16 March 2015

It’s funny how corporate hotels tend not to appeal until I find myself staying in one, but the Sofitel, which is yards from the famous Copacabana beach, has that little something extra and I’m really glad I found myself there last week on what was my first ever visit to Brazil.

The good stuff started from the moment I checked in, around 9.30pm on Sunday 15^th March. Friendly service from the word go is crucial and the Sofitel didn’t disappoint. While I was, apparently, booked to stay on one of the hotel’s lower floors, the guy on the front desk moved me to the sixth floor (I assumed for a better view, not really sure, as the view wasn’t that great). But never mind.

The room was good but there were a few minor annoyances, the first being, well, let’s call it the ‘toilet observation window’. Fortunately I was alone in the room, but had I been, say, forced to share with a work colleague (impossible on this trip as I was travelling alone, but it can happen) then said colleague would be able to watch me answer the call of nature and, bearing in mind that I went down with a dose of the runs, it wouldn’t have been pleasant viewing. The big question from me to the management of the Sofitel Group would be why? Why knock a hole in the wall, put a window in its place and enable others that might be staying in the room to view my most personal of moments? Still, as I say, I was alone so in many ways, the TV was on, but nobody was watching.

Second problem: light switches. There were far too many of them and for most of my stay there was a light on over the mini bar that I couldn’t turn off because I couldn’t find the right switch…until my last day. Instead, I had to resort to turning off the master switch, plunging the room into total darkness.

Third problem: a glass desk can be a major hazard in the dark. With the master switch off, every time I walked to the bathroom I risked banging myself on the side of the desk, which was much harder to see than, say, a wooden one.

Fourth problem: the television didn’t work. I like hotels where, when you switch on the TV, it works; this one didn’t so for my entire stay I didn’t watch any TV. Not a major problem, but worth pointing out.

That’s all the problems, now to the good bits – of which there were many. The first good thing was the WiFi; not only did it work every time, it was fast and it was free. Second good thing was the mini bar – it was full – and the third good thing was the coat hangers in the wardrobe: they were proper ones and it was clear that the hotel trusted its guests. Fourth good thing: the entire room. Well, apart from the aforementioned ‘toilet observation window’ and also, while we’re back on negative points, the wardrobe was a little cramped. But overall I was very impressed and let’s not forget the balcony. In a hot country there’s nowt better, although to revert back once more to another negative point, I wanted to enjoy a cold beer from the minibar on the balcony but couldn’t because there was no bottle opener.

But let’s not beat around the bush. This was a fantastic hotel. The shower was amazing and so was breakfast downstairs in the Atlantico restaurant on the first floor – wow! Wonderful fresh fruits (papaya, mango, melon, guava, orange…you name it) and the lunchtime buffet was amazing too (don’t go for a la carte) and let’s not forget the view of Copacabana Bay.

There are two swimming pools, one round, one square, and a well-equipped gym and if you like a business centre (and who doesn’t?), the Sofitel has a really good one kitted out with comfy sofas, a decent flat-screen TV and the latest international newspapers.

If you want a decent hotel in Rio, stay here, as it’s unforgettable in so many respects. All the staff bar none was at the top of their game – their key qualities being friendliness, helpfulness and, of course, efficiency. Then there’s the location bang on the Copacabana beach. In fact, talking of the beach, the hotel has a selection of sun loungers and umbrellas for guests to enjoy, something I took full advantage of on day one. I even had a swim in the sea, and if you want to go on any trips, ask the concierge as there are many and they all start from the hotel.

This really is an all-singing, all dancing hotel of the highest order, ideal for both business and pleasure. Top marks to the Sofitel, but it must take note of those negative points.

Leonardo Hotel, Ludwig Erhard Allee, Dusseldorf – review written 6 November 2014

Oddly I’ve stayed in this hotel four times now and this is the first time I’ve put pen to paper in the shape of a review. In many ways I’m glad of this because there is now no excuse to provide a shoddy review based on the fact that I’ve returned time after time and have enjoyed the cosy predictability of the place.

The first good thing about the Leonardo is it’s location. In fact that great thing about Dusseldorf is the closeness of the airport to the centre of town and then, in turn, the great thing about the Leonardo is its closeness to the central railway station, Dusseldorf Hbf, which is literally a five-minute away.

Imagine, therefore, my relief when, having suffered from food poisoning while in the Netherlands, I knew that once I jumped off the train at Dusseldorf I would be tucked up in bed in my hotel within minutes.

The check-in was easy and very friendly. The woman on the front desk even recognised me as a past guest and not only welcomed me back but offered me free WiFi instead of the usual payment. I gladly accepted the offer.

As for the rooms, they’re always good and this time was no exception. I was staying in Room 501, which had a comfortable bed, a decent television, a spotless and spacious bathroom and plenty of space.

On past visits I’ve always been a little disappointed with the food offering in the evening, but even that had been improved: there was greater choice on the wine list than before and the food seemed to have gone up a notch in terms of quality.

Don’t get me wrong; the food had always been of an acceptable standard but perhaps a little run-of-the-mill. Having said that it’s food you can rely upon, it’s not overly fussy and it does the job, it fills a void. However, on this visit, my third or fourth I can’t remember, it seemed a little better, but I admit that I looked into the restaurant from the lobby, noticed just one other guest sitting there and thought I’d try my luck outside. Having gone all of 50 yards down the road, I turned back. It was far too cold to go searching for restaurants so I headed back to the Leonardo, ordered the mushroom soup followed by a lamb curry, a small carafe of Cabernet, a mineral water and a shot of Killepitsch, a Schnapps-like drink made from herbs and only available in Dusseldorf, nowhere else in Germany. It had the consistency of cough mixture, was very warming but also very strong (42% abv) and clearly a beverage for the heavy drinker, normally accompanied by a pint of beer.

I’ll be returning to the Leonardo again of that I can assure you. Why? Because it’s friendly, homely, comfortable, the staff are polite, the vibe is good and I love it. Furthermore, I heartily recommend it to Trip Advisor readers looking for a decent safe bet which is well-located virtually next door to the central railway station.

The Bruntsfield Hotel, Edinburgh – review written 30 April 2014

One of the worst things about reviewing anything, be it a book, a film, a restaurant or a hotel (perhaps that should be ‘an hotel’) is that there is a tendency to feel that you can’t simply say something was ‘good’. Unfortunately, there is always that urge to add something negative, possibly for the sake of authenticity or, perhaps, simply to show that you’re hard and won’t take any nonsense, you’re not easily bought.

Well, yes, it’s true; that’s how I felt about the Bruntsfield Hotel before I’d even visited the place – although, if the truth be known, I knew it would be good before I checked in for the simple reason that I had stayed here before, back, it has to be said, in the angst-ridden early 90s. And that’s why I’m back again because whenever I think of Edinburgh, I think of the Bruntsfield Hotel and walking along Princes Street towards Glenogle Street and Henderson’s and Bert’s Bar. I don’t even know if those establishments are still there, but I don’t think I could stay anywhere else in this great city.

The reason I was going to add something negative was down to an email I received from the hotel once I’d booked a room on-line. They sent me a message saying that, for an extra £20, I could get a larger room with some fruit in it or, for £25, a bottle of wine and some hand-made canapés. Well, nice try, but when I think about how many oranges I could buy with £20 or how, for £25, I could get two decent bottles of red and have change for a copy of The Economist, I simply ignored what amounted to a cheap marketing ploy. Not that I should have adopted that attitude; they were, after all, only doing their job.

So, I travelled by train from King’s Cross, took a cab to the Bruntsfield and, as expected, it is still the most wonderful hotel in Edinburgh, in my opinion: the staff are friendly – so much so that I looked forward to passing the time of day with whoever was on reception. The room (I was in room 37) was excellent and the food in the Bisque restaurant was absolutely fantastic. After a day in a conference on the other side of town I was looking forward to dinner, a glass or two of wine, some dessert and, of course, a good book (go and buy Lean on Pete by Willy Vlautin, it’s fantastic).

I’ve been here for two nights. Last night, in the Bisque restaurant, I enjoyed chicken breast stuffed with haggis, mashed potato and carrots; tonight it was a venison, pheasant and duck stew. I really wish I had another night here… or maybe a week. It’s such a homely, comfortable hotel where everything works, nothing niggles and, well, what else can I say? I couldn’t recommend this hotel more highly. When a hotel has that ‘home from home’ feeling about it, you know you’re on to a winner.

One bugbear: the WiFi. It’s very slow. That needs to be addressed. Everything else is absolutely first class. Well done, Bruntsfield people. Keep up the good work. As Arne once said, “I’ll be back.”

Best Western Hotel International, Luxembourg – review written 12 September 2014

I arrived around 2100hrs, the check-in was quick, friendly and jam-packed with good news: 10% off my evening meal and a free glass of wine, not forgetting free WiFi in the room.

I’ve stayed in a lot of hotels, but this one was easily the most conveniently located. It was just across the road from the main railway station where I was due to catch a train to Brussels the following morning and let’s not forget that I’d arrived in Luxembourg by train rom Duisburg in Germany and it was great to just walk across the road rather than have to give directions to a taxi driver.

Normally, hotels and pubs near railway stations leave a lot to be desired, but that’s mainly in the UK. Here in Luxembourg it wasn’t a problem.

My top priority at gone 2100hrs was dinner and the restaurant was still open.

I found a crowd of Japanese tourists finishing their evening meal. Would I be invisible to the waiting staff, I wondered? The answer? No. This was a good hotel and so far I hadn’t been let down: free glass of wine, free WiFi, 10% off the price of the meal and, sure enough, the waiting staff knew I was there and brought over my free glass of red wine.

I ordered roasted salmon, which arrived with boiled potatoes and diced carrots. Not bad, but similar to the sort of thing I’d eat at home (or in hospital) not that I was complaining and besides, it was late and I didn’t want a rich meal full of salt and smothered in sauce so it fit the bill rather nicely.

After a second glass of wine, which I paid for, and a glass of sparkling mineral water I headed back to the room where I watched CNN (the only English speaking channel I could find) and then I did a bit of work on the computer.

The room was perfect in all respects apart from a loud air-con system, but I couldn’t be bothered to hunt around for the switch to turn it off and eventually I fell asleep and slept soundly, waking at 0730hrs.

Breakfast was also good: cereal, yoghurt, fresh fruit salad and a mug of tea and I could have eaten much more as both hot and cold options were available along with croissants and rolls. I decided not to be a pig and keep things fairly light.

In short there was nothing to complain about; the check-out was as easy as the check-in and now, as I write this, I’m sitting on the 1320hrs train from Luxembourg to Brussels and because my business appointment was only five minutes’ walk from the hotel and the railway station just across the road, I didn’t incur any taxi fares. In fact I might get away without having to draw any money.

I would definitely return to this hotel and probably will in the not too distant future. As for Luxembourg, I found it to be a little boring, although in its defence, I didn’t really get enough time to explore.